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[October 20, 2009] |
A rare photo of me browsing the internets
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[September 28, 2009] |
Women:
So confusing.
It's time for some self reflection, It's not the girls fault that I end up so cold and feeling like a waterlogged corpse when it's over.
I felt the same way with Anne and Alisia, this exact feeling. Yet my feelings towards each of them were completely different than my feelings towards Pert. Not less, simply different.
With Pert, I saw the most wonderful things I had seen in my life. I held her we sat on the shore at midnight, the sunset. The top of the world. I tried to kiss her these three places, but she refused.
A part that makes me sad now is that I should have walked away and let her choose. but I made her kiss me. I didn't physically force her, but I grew upset that our trip was 2/3rds done and we had not kissed. It really made my mood sour, she kissed me just so I would stop being upset.
She's 24, and I was the first guy she's ever been close to, she told me today that she doesn't feel like we have good chemistry. I can't be around her anymore on iscribble, it just makes me sick to have her sitting there being intellectually intimate with other people.
I don't know how to take that, but I feel so drained and used.
This time is a little different because I know someday in a few years the story will be that I fell in love with a girl in the most beautiful place I had ever seen in my life, we kissed in a park, and I was happy.
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[September 23, 2009] |
Stop worrying and you'll feel bettr
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[September 19, 2009] |
Hello, this is a letter to the future.
Nothing has been more instrumental in finding calmness as the people who have influenced me.
Something to think about is if our own happiness was mirrored by generations past.
Are we, as artistic observers of our time, on the cutting edge of something new?
Is the affinity we share with one another something that my grandparents felt with thier lovers.
For fleeting moments, it can feel as if we are all alone, swept up in something.
As someone imperfect, influenced by an imperfect world and set of circumstances,
I can not speak for what is right or wrong of my time.
Know that I see things in my time and I am filled with a creeping dread,
I feel helpless as the world seems so broken around me.
Did my anscestors have this feeling as well?
You look back on the history books and and entire time period is summarized in a sentance.
Cultures destroyed, World Wars, Slavery, Famine.
It loses it's meaning. You don't feel the pain.
What it means to live, is to be right in the center of all this pain.
There is a god in our time, and it is the intricate beauty of things.
It is not an old grey man who sees all. It is in me and you,
the best way to describe this is a flower. Here it is, a little blue flower growing,
can you see how beautiful it is. Isn't it just the most wonderful thing in the world,
to have this little blue flower here before you, smelling like a little blue flower.
This flower, in this moment, is the most beautiful thing that has ever existed,
this flower has to die, it will wither and flake away to the dust, like all flowers before.
Isn't it just as sad that this poor little beautiful thing has to die.
Just as sad as beautiful.
I hope that art becomes a guiding force in your world,
A moment where your view of humanity is not as hopeless as mine is in this time.
The joy from painting a picture.
The art in flowers,
and the art in love.
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[September 14, 2009] |
chalk
Going out with some girls from craigslist has shown me I need to be less judgemental.
Also reading craigslist has shown me that gay guys are sluts.
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[May 2, 2009] |
oh everybody i hope you're all alright tonight
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[March 4, 2009] |
I'm doing some self reflection. I'm very hurtful sometimes.
It just happens that people grow apart and come together, it's no ones fault,
although there are things I can do when I am with you, before we get there, to enrich the time we spend together.
How can I forget Anne??? I need to.
This is difficult because there was no closure, she just dissapeared.
She never told me how she felt. To me she was a ghost, hardly there, soft spoken, only around after dark, lingering.
I didn't hate her after chicago, because I felt like rejection wasn't the reason she didn't come. It felt like she was just a scared little deer, It was just one of many things that we could work around and grow upon.
I'm very cold now, people talk to me, and they are so boring to me. And I;m no better, I don't even bother talking anymore because I don't know if anything I say is worthwhile, and how it might sound if I don't really know what excactly I'm trying to say.
So I have this vision for a wonderful friendship, and we do not talk, we just observe the world together, we aren't in love, we just are not alone. But it does not work anyways.
I'm so aware of things now, I'm so sad. and so happy. I know what nightplayer meant when he said the more he understands the world, the sadder he becomes.
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[January 23, 2009] |
nausicaa
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[November 4, 2008] |
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all quiet nature girls like cocorosie
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[September 2, 2008] |
living in hell on earth. I always was sympathetic to anyones plight, but now even more, how can anyone be blamed for thier wrongdoings, they all are just so sad and alone, and they know not of which they do.
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[July 15, 2008] |
hello.
I am with my family in michigan.
On sunday I went and saw sneakypete in Canada, I think it was the most fun I've ever had meeting anyone. Sneakypete lives in a run-down art apartment with very steep steps and pipes that come in and out of the walls.
We did not get too many pictures, but we did get some nice video of us laughing, and I hope it turns out okay. We spent some time drawing together with paints, and it was really something. I will try and describe it... it was a very spiritual moment, we did not talk and our arms sometimes touched a little, we both worked on different parts and drifted into that really nice place that you go when you really are not thinking about what you are drawing, but things just seem to happen on the canvas.
I still have some paint on my hand, and I wish it would never wash off, I feel better than I have in along time.
see everyone later!
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[June 24, 2008] |
please pass the milk please
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[February 8, 2007] |
I decided to take matters into my own hands, and have fun tonight lol. So I post a craigslist entry posing a hot chick. who liked bugs.
( Read more... )
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